Humorous Excerpts from Newspaper Classified Advertisements
Pass This Along!
This compilation of seventeen humorous excerpts from the classified sections of city newspapers is a great way to break the ice during your special events.
> Illiterate? Write today for help.
> Auto Repair Service. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
> Dog for sale. Eats anything and is fond of children.
> Stock up and Save! Limit one per customer.
> For sale: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
> Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
> Three-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.
> Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Salary and Blue Cross.
> We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
> Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
> Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
> Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
> For Rent: Six room hated apartment.
> We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.
> Man, honest, will take anything.
> Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
> And now, the Superstore — unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
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